On Hyderabad and Home

{the fambam}

My first few months of college, I felt oddly disoriented. I hadn't been at GW long enough for it to truly become home — although it certainly didn't take long for me to call it as such. At the same time, I realized quickly that my home in New Jersey was no longer mine. It was my parents' house, it was the place I'd tell people I lived during high school, it was the place I'd return for holidays and short breaks but it would never be home the way it was before college. Something had changed and I felt unprepared, blindsided. I'm often anxious when big changes happen in my life, and the more something means to me the more I overthink, over-analyze, over-internalize. But I hadn't anticipated that in gaining a new home, I'd lose home altogether. 

Now, nearly three years later, my understanding of home has become even more muddled. I have more homes than ever before, spread across different cities and different families and even different continents. 

As I write this now, I'm sitting on the plane. In between the sentences I've written so far, the plane started. The engine whirred and we pushed forward. Hyderabad, in the middle of a drought, is as brown and grey from up here as it is down below. The sun reflects off of metal rooftops and the higher we go the more gems I see in the City of Pearls. There's a lot of smog today, and somewhere in between land and sky the horizon blurs into a grey-blue. Is this home? Not anymore. 

Leaving Spain was brutal. This? Less so. I've been processing the end for weeks, have been anticipating the goodbyes and the see-you-laters and the hugs and the tears and the last times. The last time I take an auto. The last visit to campus. The last time I pet the two strays on my side of campus. The last time I buy chocolate from the south campus shopping complex. The last time I hug each of my friends. The last time I hug my family, for now. 

And by some miracle, I didn't unravel upon leaving. And even though some of my goodbyes were left unsaid — after all, you don't always know when you're in the middle of your last visit to a spot in the city, you don't always know when you're seeing someone for the last time — I was okay. Because it's not as though I'm going home, at least not to the home that is the U.S. I'm going to Bombay, to my grandparents' place, to that home. 

And even when I leave India in a few short days, I'm going to visit family in Muscat, to spend ten days in Oman and Dubai. Only then will I return to New Jersey, to a house full of people I haven't seen in months and a jet-lagged first meal of real pizza and a bed with soft pillows and a world of Starbucks and central air conditioning. Do I miss all of that? I did. At many points in these past five months, I've missed it all. But right now, sitting in this plane, I miss none of it. Not iced coffee, not driving, not even pizza. I miss my aunt and uncle already and I wish my friend was sitting next to me as she was on my last trip to Bombay. But I'm going home, and then I'm going to another home. And I guess that's the thing about having multiple homes. You can either chose to stay in a constant state of missing — missing people and place and all that comes with the two — or you can just accept your fate. Accept that part of you will always belong somewhere else, that the rest of you is here. You can just give in to being wherever you are, sink back into your seat, and enjoy your stay for however long it lasts. After all, you're only home for so long.

On a recent visit to Sri Lanka, I was talking to Nadee, the owner one of the Airbnb guesthouses my friend Jesse and I stayed at. Nadee was born in Sri Lanka and has also lived in India, but has spent most of her time in the UK. I told her about where I was from and how I'd spent some time in Spain and she nodded understandingly. "You're looking for home, too," she said. "So am I."


I didn't come to Hyderabad with the expectation of it becoming home, and I don't really think it is now. All my friends have left or are leaving soon. I just left. And when I drove through the city in auto rickshaw or car during my last week, I didn't feel the sentimentality I felt in Madrid. I'm not detached by any means, but this is always just going to be the city I lived in for a few months; the city in which I met the people that made my experience what it is; the city in which I lived with two amazing, inspiring, strong, and loving human beings; the city I studied abroad in. But my study abroad experience hasn't been about me and Hyderabad — it's been about me and India.


I've learned so much here. A year ago, I bought my tickets to Spain and it seems like since then my life has been moving forward more quickly than ever before. I've spent nine of the past twelve months outside of the United States, across seven other countries. Isn't that crazy? So much about who I am and what I want and what I've experienced has changed. I define myself by different parameters now. I'm more sure of myself and yet I'm more willing to admit that I don't know what I want, that I hardly know anything at all. And now, after nearly five months in this city, it's all over.


This semester has been crazy. I've come to question so much and I've come to appreciate so much of what my life is. I've been forced to confront how insanely privileged I am. I've learned to stop asking for more, to become patient for what's to come. I've learned to redefine what's important to me in all sorts of relationships — platonic, romantic, and familial. It's not that I've changed; I've simply grown into myself a little bit more.


And for the hundredth time, I'm reminded of how important this decision was — this decision to come to India. To study here. To grow here. To feel a little more uncomfortable before becoming wholly comfortable altogether.


But as I've said before in numerous other posts, there's nothing like travel to make you question what home is. I don't really tie my definition of home to any place or any people. At this point in my life, I simply can't. I don't live where I grew up or where I was born and I make new friends every year, every day. And this city isn't home to me. I'm grateful for that; it's a relief to not feel so intensely attached to a city for once. But this experience has certainly felt like home.


But now, unlike three years ago when I started college, I don't feel as though I have no home. Rather, I feel like I have many homes. My parents' place in New Jersey, my new apartment in DC, my grandparents' flat in Mumbai, my host family's place in Madrid, my aunt and uncle's place in Hyderabad. None of these homes belong to me; none of them are truly mine. But they've made me who I am. They're the places that mark so many different parts of who I am, who I've grown into. 


Like my definition of home, my definition of family has always been a bit confused. Growing up, my grandparents lived 8,000 miles away from me, and even though I'm very attached to the extended family I have in the New Jersey area, I've always felt a bit separate. So much of my identity separates me from my family, and it's something that I've been used to for years. And when I came here to Hyderabad to live with my aunt and uncle, I didn't come with too many expectations. I didn't think things would be as comfortable and natural and loving as they are. I didn't anticipate how much I would feel taken care of, how much I would feel like two people would love me and care for me and make me laugh and for once, I didn't anticipate how difficult goodbye would be.


It's crazy — before I even got to Spain I had anticipated saying goodbye to my host family would be difficult. And it was. But when I came here, I was just trying to wrap my head around living in India for five months. I didn't even think about how much I'd get closer to my family here, how difficult moving away from them would be for me.


I guess all I'm saying is, I've found a home here. Not in this city, but with these people. With my uncle and my aunt and our little fambam, as we've come to call it. These two understand my sense of humor, they know how I show love, they know how to make me happy and take care of me and I'd like to think I can do the same for them. I've come to appreciate the idea of family more than ever before and by some miracle my understanding and definition of home have become even more complicated.


And maybe that's my favorite thing about travel. You find home in the least expected of places. You find love in the least expected of places.

~ V

Visiting Bengaluru

{trees from the IISc campus}

This past weekend I flew down to Bangalore for a short 30-hour visit. Prior to the trip, I had done some asking around and Googling to see what there was to do and see in the city and decided that with the time I had, I would prioritize spending time with my cousin who lives there, whom I hadn't seen in five or so years, and forego visits to palaces, gardens, and the like. But in a short amount of time, we manage to fit in an amazing amount of beautiful things to see and eat.

{insanely beautiful sunset from the rooftop}

I got into Bangalore Saturday afternoon and after a quick bus ride from the airport, I met my cousin for coffee at a place called Anand Bhavan. While most people around us were there for lunch, neither of us were particularly hungry and the perfectly sweet, hot South Indian filter coffee was enough to satisfy us. After coffee, we took an auto to her apartment, an adorable place with plenty of windows, a balcony, and access to a rooftop, which provided us a stunning view of the sunset, stars, and bats flying around. After some tea and toast and the stargazing that followed, we headed out for dinner at a microbrewery called Arbor Brewing Company.

Arbor was heaven. The ambiance alone was amazing; think long wooden tables, hanging lightbulbs, and plenty of cool signs lending to an industrial-chic sort of vibe. And it just got better from there. Their beer menu is extremely diverse and well-crafted (pun sort of intended), and I first opted for Smooth Criminal, an ale brewed with lavender and honey that managed to be perfectly smooth and light rather than overbearingly sweet. Later in the evening, I got a glass of Michael Faricy's Irish Stout, which tasted more like delicious black coffee with undertones of dark chocolate than actual beer. And their music selection was on point, too. I couldn't pick out more than bits and pieces from the size of the crowd that had gathered on a Saturday night, but every now and then my cousin and I found ourselves commenting on the songs playing. Speaking of the crowd, it really seemed like the place to be. The girl sitting next to me assured me that this place was well-known for their pizza, and my friend from GW, who is from Bangalore, seemed impressed that I had gone there as well. And if you couldn't guess from the fact that this post sounds more like a restaurant review than an actual travel post, I was in heaven.

{my beautiful cousin!}

But wait—I haven't even gotten around to the food yet. I'm a huge foodie, and that combined with the fact that I grew up in North Jersey has made me quite the pizza snob. I won't touch any of the garbage that considers itself pizza in DC (with the only exception being Pete's New Haven Style Apizza) and have very strong opinions on sauce consistency, sauce-cheese ratio, and crust thickness. After a plate of seriously satisfying nachos, my cousin and I ordered the Garlic Goat Cheese pizza. Instead of sauce, it came with plenty of goat cheese, parmesan, mozzarella, roasted garlic, green onion, roasted sunflower seeds, and a hint of honey. And honestly? It was good. I'm not going to go out and say it was the best I've ever had. I've been to Italy and my region of New Jersey knows what its doing when it comes to pizza, but in a country where Amul has an apparent (and in my opinion, undeserved) monopoly over the cheese industry, I was damn impressed.

I also seriously appreciate attention to detail. I've been to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter twice, and possibly my favorite part about the place, even beyond the rides and roller coasters, is the attention to detail. I'm not going to describe too much and spoil things for those who haven't been yet, but to give you an idea, everything in Diagon Alley IS DIAGONAL. DIAGONALLY. Isn't that great?! Anyway, so another thing I loved about Arbor is the attention to detail. Their menu is loaded with references to historical periods, TV shows, music, movies, and more. It's seriously witty and I actually sat down and read through the entire thing. Very dorky, yes. But when a menu is written better than some of the crap you've read for class, you appreciate it.

My cousin and I started Sunday very leisurely, the way all Sundays should be spent. We had a breakfast of toast and tea, along with a slice of cold pizza each, and headed out into the city for some souvenir shopping. We then had lunch at Burrito Brothers—the tortilla was undercooked, but overall the burrito did not disappoint—followed by ice cream at Corner House. I got Rocky Road and Caramel Crunch, and my cousin picked up Fig + Honey and Chocolate Europa. And after the scooter got a flat-tire (and was fixed in a quicker and more cost-friendly fashion that I think one would have to deal with back in in the U.S.) we drove through the campus of the Indian Institute of Science, which was much more beautiful than either GW or HCU can claim to be.

{insane trees}

After a quick nap back at my cousin's place, I headed to the airport, marking the end of a trip that was tons of fun and way too short. As I've already said, I really only went to Bangalore to see my cousin. She's incredible to talk to about anything and everything, and our time spent together was so easy-going and fun even though we hadn't seen each other in years. But even still, I really loved Bangalore. It may be more than a bit presumptuous to say so, but I definitely liked Bangalore more than Hyderabad. I love being where I am, but Bangalore has an incredible climate, tons of greenery, and plenty of places to go for good food. But as I thought that during our time around the city, I was just reminded about how I have to put in more effort into my time both here in Hyderabad and DC. I have such little time left in both cities, and hope to make the most of my stay in each. So if you have any must-visit spots, send them my way and I'll try my best to check them off my list.

 Until then, here are some more photos from my trip:

{the street my cousin lives on}

{the neighbor's house}

{view from the top}

{I made a new friend!}

{auto repair shop aesthetic strong}

 

{house built around a tree}

{look closely; there's a tree coming out of a house}

{where we sat for ice cream}

{my cousin's place is filled with gorgeous fabrics}

{cutest door I ever did see}

{sunset still beautiful even without the color}

~ V

Tennessee Travels: Road Trip to Nashville

{fried chicken galore}

      During my week in the underrated state of Tennessee, my friend Saher and I went on two amazing road trips. This was pretty exciting in and of itself, since neither of us had previously been on a road trip without our parents and because we've proven to be pretty good at entertaining ourselves for hours on end (Saher spent a lot of our drive to Atlanta singing along to Broadway songs). But what was even more fun was being able to see new places (and old faces) at the end of our long drives.

{signs for sale in Pangea}

      On one of our trips, Saher and I drove down to Roswell to visit my cousins. We had an amazing home-cooked Indian meal and got to spend some relaxing time with my family, but decided to skip the sightseeing in nearby Atlanta. We had both been there before, and couldn't find much left to do or see, so after a quick breakfast at the legendary Waffle House (my first time there!) we headed back to Knoxville.
      A few days later, we headed to Nashville, which was easily my favorite of the three cities we visited on our trip. It has a much more indie vibe than what I’ve seen of the rest of the South, but still manages to keep that Southern charm. We started off our visit with a leisurely walk around Baylor University. 

{Belmont Mansion}

      Afterwards, we spent a lot of time shopping (and window shopping) before grabbing popsicles at Las Paletas and the most amazing dinner and dessert at Pinewood Social. We started off thrifting through Local Honey, but found nothing we wanted. Next we went to Pangea, which is one of the coolest shops I've ever been to, and I'm so glad we stopped by. I also loved A Village of Flowers and had to remind myself multiple times that succulents cannot be taken on planes.

 {local honey}

 {thrift shopping}

 {Pangea}

 {lovely flowers, lovelier words}

{baby succulents}

      After dinner, we drove around downtown for a bit before heading back. On a side note, there is a Kanye Avenue in Nashville, and I may or may not have screamed upon seeing so. But what's even better, THERE IS A KANYE AVENUE BAPTIST CHURCH (not to be confused with the Kanye Westboro Baptist Church), AKA THERE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND YEEZUS. Needless to say, I kind of love Nashville. Good food, cool shops, and Yeezus are really all I need in life. I don’t think I’d ever live in the South again, but Nashville is definitely worth traveling to.
      Here are a few more photos from our Nashville day trip: 

 {dinner & bowling}

{you know you're down South when}

 {vases galore at A Village of Flowers}

 {staircase between the salon and shop}

{Belmont Mansion}

 {walking around campus}

      What are your favorite spots in Nashville? Let me know!

Thanks for reading!

~ V